Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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