Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
