Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
