I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
