i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
