I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
