gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
