moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
