i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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