He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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