He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
