Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
