I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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