Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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