But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
