I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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