I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ketchup is God's man juice
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
