is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
