i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
