what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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