i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
third nipple confirmed
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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