Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
