I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I pour the whiskey from now on
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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