there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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