i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
