i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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