just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
