you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize