it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
