so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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