Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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