maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize