ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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