I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't think brook has ever known best
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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