You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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