so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
