Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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