I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize