somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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