How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was confusing and full of hummus
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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