I must be too annoying 4 u.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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