i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
