Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
