Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
