i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
