he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
