i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize