Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
