she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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