Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it's like heaven, but drunker
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
