Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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