Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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