Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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