Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize