there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
