Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
