WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
