are you so shy because you have an std?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
