Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
