so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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