She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
