I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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