But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As shirtless as possible
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
