I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
